Saturday, January 20, 2007
gosh i'm really exhausted man. met up with juelz again after class yesterday and we hung out till this morning. he's someone i could really talk to, as though i've known him for years. in a way, he's like a big brother. it's fun being with him because we talk non stop! haha. we go on and on from lame, crappy and hilarious talks to serious talks like past relationships or just simply talking bout ourselves - our views, opinions, perspectives and all. he makes a great buddy, a great brother but not so a great boyfriend. i guess sometimes thats how things are.
and
no i don't think i'll
ever fall for him haha. maybe that's why i could be so comfortable with him because we both know where we stand. but being with him reminds me of many things from the past. and it suddenly occurred to me that i miss alot of things or rather,
feelings. like how i miss being missed by someone i love. how i miss being with someone i love. the intimacy
stopppp! i'm not referring to physical affections but more of the emotional intimacy, like how you bare your thoughts and feelings to this one person whom you really care about and vice versa. and how you share your happiness and sorrows with this
one special person.
but well, when there's the sweet part there's always the pain. like the risk of being two-timed, being neglected, in essence, getting hurt by the person you love. it's ironic how you could mean so much to this person and then nothing the next. well well... haha i'm at a loss for words now sorry.
then again, i guess there's a barrier in everyone of us no matter how confident we may seem to put across. in a nutshell, the barrier doesn't allow us to love
whole-heartedly. well maybe it's unknowingly that we set it up to protect ourselves but whatever the reason is, it's something unintentional, something uncontrollable. that's why i ponder sometimes at how people can get together with this person, break up, and get together with the next person within a short span of time. do they really love or even
like the 2? it's not easy to fall in love. getting attracted yes but love?!
how? haha
anyway i wonder if i've time to complete my tutorial by tomorrow. it's kinda sucky having all tutorials on monday which means you'd have to complete everything during the weekends. and weekends are meant for relaxing and enjoying! haha. oh freak i'm so tired. thankfully i don't have to be down for track relay tomorrow! because if i do, i've to reach ntu at 9am which is inane! anyway we don't even wanna win. i don't even give a damn if hall 8 is ranked last for interhall games '06-07. really man.
i'm off to catch my drama! hahah. screw the tutorials and assignments lar.
take me with you
10:56 PM
